HOPE for our Youth

As the Greene County High School Seniors finished the Soul Mate class, the last discussion focused on the challenges of communicating within a marriage. It is no secret that communication problems often create obstacles in relationships. Even great marriages have to work through struggles of how to get along peacefully.

Guys and girls have different communication styles and learning about these differences will lay a strong foundation in a relationship. Guys’ purpose in communicating is often to relay or report information. Girls see communication as a way to affirm the established relationship. When people communicate in a relationship, their primary emotional needs are revealed. Guys want to feel self-sufficient and “able to get the job done”. A girl’s main style of communication shows her need for a quality relationship and togetherness. Young men feel loved when their self-sufficiency is acknowledged and young ladies feel most loved when feelings are valued. Guys tend to feel unloved or unappreciated when they are criticized- especially when they are criticized in front of friends or family. Girls feel uncared for when they feel no one is listening and when their feelings are not validated. It is not necessary in a marriage relationship to deny one’s basic needs to accommodate a spouse. However, both partners can learn to adjust their communication styles so that they don’t fall into the trap of misunderstanding.

Guys should try to listen without trying to solve all her problems. Girls should try to focus on appreciating him and his efforts and not being overly critical. The couple should place as high a priority on trying to understand the other person, as they do on trying to be understood. Deep, strong roots will grow in a marriage where the couple is committed to listening and appreciating. Choices have consequences, and here, learning how to communicate produces the foundation for a strong marriage.