HOPE in the Classroom "Self-Worth"

HOPE educators lead students through lessons that help them understand the importance of self-worth. Often well-meaning adults pay more attention to correcting negative behaviors than affirming positive ones. I know I am guilty of this with my own children. We get caught up in the “addressing of the urgent” and forget to go back and reaffirm the behaviors that are worthy of being praised. Both the pre-teen and teenage periods are full of self-doubt and insecurities and the most arrogant and brash teenager can sometimes be the most fragile.

How do we teach our students to value themselves without crossing into a selfish pride? How do we correct, yet affirm the positive? What qualities should adults seek to praise in children? It is important to teach children at a very young age that they have an inherent value. Simply because they are a living human being, means they have worth. Sean Covey says it very well, “Although how you esteem yourself may rise and fall, what you are really worth never changes.” HOPE educators try to convey that every student is born with a purpose. It is important for adults to understand the difference between praising an unchangeable quality and a character trait. Telling a girl she has beautiful face sounds nice. And what could be wrong with telling a boy he looks strong? However, how does the child feel who hears and wonders if her face is pretty? Or what about the young boy who knows his body frame is narrow and weak?

It is much better to praise character qualities.

• “You worked very hard on your assignment last night.”
• “You have been a loyal friend during a difficult time. “
• “I appreciate your respectful attitude to the clerk.”
• “It must have been hard to tell the truth. I don’t like what you did, but I like that you were honest.”
• “Thank you for being so generous and sharing with others.”

These affirmations don’t slight another child who may be listening, nor do they only acknowledge traits that will someday fade. Addressing the character quality you hope to correct or affirm allows children to understand there is a process to maturing. Though I have constant worth and a purpose, there is always room for growth. The “social mirror” that includes comparisons to others, culture’s newest expectations, and the media’s view of acceptance is not a good place for our children to learn of their worth. They need to hear of it from those closest to them until they are able to take it in and own it as a part of their belief system. Ideally, children hear it from their families, but it’s not always the case. Teachers, mentors, volunteers, pastors, coaches, and extended family members have the opportunity to speak words of truth into the lives of our community’s youth with the assurance that some will hear and be transformed.